On Resistance

Tonight I really didn’t want to write anything. I’m exhausted. I was lying in bed, back in Rochester, getting ready to fall asleep, when I remembered that I hadn’t posted yet. When I realized I would need to crawl out of my warm, soft bed and walk downstairs to get my computer, this clear determination overtook me. I knew I needed to do this. There was no choice. I made this commitment to myself, and I had to keep it.

I’m proud of myself for actually doing it. For honoring this promise to myself. I usually force myself to stay consistent with important things: practicing piano, practicing voice, flossing, working out, and drinking water. But this particular instance of discipline felt more automatic. That certainty I felt, that I was going to do this thing no matter what, is what I want to feel with all of these habits. I rarely feel that conviction with practicing. For some reason, I don’t feel that sense of accountability to myself with piano and voice practice. Practicing always feels like a choice. Writing my 28th post tonight felt like an inevitability. How can I make practicing an inevitability in my life? What is a more exciting and reachable goal than just “I want to get better at playing music”?

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