Last Tuesday, I put the endless stacks of sheets into the closet. Finally. I'm resisting editing that sentence, even though I know it's a bad beginning. It's really a bad sentence in general. But I'm resisting. I want to try writing this piece all at once, badly, just to get something out. In November I… Continue reading On Clutter
Author: Siena
On Secrets
I want to give you the full picture I promised. You have to understand that the full picture isn't pretty, and does not seem conducive with making money, or receiving more support from the general public. But, I think it's important to tell the truth somewhere. And since I can't tell it on social media… Continue reading On Secrets
On Creativity
Listen to The Process Podcast So. I just finished this podcast episode. Like I literally just closed GarageBand (that I used to edit the audio) and send the file link to Ben Albert (who is using his marketing platform to promote my podcast). AND I AM REALIZING THAT I HAVEN'T BEEN TRULY PROUD OF SOMETHING… Continue reading On Creativity
On Beauty and Strangeness
Beauty and Strangenessdrop to the sandcome, get the ropes(who are, after all, not mildbut militant)I don't think I am old yet,half asleep,notall at once but steadilyI know I have already livedWords found in Mary Oliver's book of essays Upstream and rearranged to my heart's content. I found the words, but was careful not to copy… Continue reading On Beauty and Strangeness
On Desire (revisited)
In honor of the last day of my daily writing challenge, I am reconnecting with the same topic I wrote about on the first day: desire. Here's the original post. That day, I asked an important question. Can desire be trusted? Here are a few things I've learned about desire this month: 1) Desire is… Continue reading On Desire (revisited)
On Performing
Before I leave for my sister's college graduation in about a week, I'm playing two live shows. Tonight, I want to write about the songs I'll perform this week, what they mean to me, and the work it takes to perform them well. The first performance is a songwriter's showcase that I'm hosting at a… Continue reading On Performing
On Resistance
Tonight I really didn't want to write anything. I'm exhausted. I was lying in bed, back in Rochester, getting ready to fall asleep, when I remembered that I hadn't posted yet. When I realized I would need to crawl out of my warm, soft bed and walk downstairs to get my computer, this clear determination… Continue reading On Resistance
On Trying
This is how my mental illness influences my musical work: I have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, caused by repeated traumas. Thankfully, the traumas ended when I was 20, but the damage had been done. The symptoms took years to surface, suddenly popping up without warning. Even then, I lived with the symptoms for over a year,… Continue reading On Trying
On Comparisons
I’m on the plane from Philadelphia to Rochester. It’s a tiny plane. I’m listening to the acoustic version of Aurora's Cure For Me on repeat. I’m turning over everything in my mind, over and over, jaw clenched, vigilant. Should I not have posted stuff that meant so much to me, in such a raw form?… Continue reading On Comparisons
On Banana Bread
My grandma can only eat unripe bananas because of this special diet she's on. So, when the bananas got too ripe for her to eat, I made banana bread. Yesterday was tough for me because, the night before, I had a PTSD-related panic attack. The next afternoon, I was still dealing with the residual effects… Continue reading On Banana Bread